Destroying Arguments Since 2018.
Brittny, wherever you are, I love you and I would marry you. -ja

Can you help me find her?
Help me find her. I know you can.
Please pray to God in heaven that I meet Brittny.
And I will track her down, wherever she is. And I will make her mine. And she will love me. I swear to you, I will find her.
I will search every corner of this dark, rainy world, and I will find her. I will wander forests and traverse mountains. I will walk through cities and plains, calling her name. I will go through deserts and fields, seeking her. I will hike in the wilderness and survive in dangerous lands, searching for her. I will walk through foreign countries, and I will move through barren wastelands, and watery marshes, and quiet suburbs, and busy, booming cities and urban areas, and scout out every island and every mountain and hilltop and every plateau and every place that people inhabit. And I will find her. I will surf the stormy seas in search for her, and I will fly and scan the skies in search for her, to acquire her, no matter what the weather is, and I swear to you, I will find her. I will find her. I will find her.
Thank you.

Political theories.
You are not your own.
If you need help.
Understanding women.
How God defines faith.
Interesting sites.
Personality Test (quantitative).
Personality Test (qualitative).
Intelligence Test.
Photo Gallery.


Many years ago there was an old man who lived in the middle of a forest. No one knew if he was still alive, and rumor had it that if someone happened to come across his path, that person he would invite into his shack for a cup of tea, and would never be seen again.

Yoshimitsu was twenty-seven years old and very fit. He had a defined abdomen and often walked about with no shirt.
"I can find that old man and kill him," he bragged to the others in the village. "I won't let him make me disappear."

So Yoshimitsu packed his sword, his knife, his waterbottle, and a pistol, and he set out into the middle of the forest with the blessings of the elders of the village.

But as he walked, he found that the atmosphere was growing dimmer and dimmer and the air was becoming thicker and thicker. The trees seemed to groan and lean into where he was standing or walking, and he suddenly heard a deep, sighing voice emit from above the canopy:

"Yoshimitsu, is that you? Why are you seeking me?"

Yoshimitsu was taken aback, but he was not one who was easily frightened, and so he called to the voice which he could not see, above the canopy of the trees: "I'm here to kill you, old man, and find out what you've done with all those innocent, precious souls who have gone away."

Yoshimitsu waited, and there was silence for about seven seconds, and then there was a very faint tremor of the shaking of the leaves of the trees, and with it, a faint sound of laughter, of someone who was shouting and laughing in hilarity, which grew in volume and intensity until the trees were vibrating and leaves were shaking and falling and the earth was quaking and the air as well as Yoshimitsu's ears were filled with the sound of the old man's jeering laughter.

"You think you can kill me, young man? Very well: Come to my shack and I'll put you to the test, to see if you're made of anything or not."

So the fog disappeared, and Yoshimitsu was left alone. He was shaken, but he took a deep breath and calmed himself, and continued his journey, walking deep into the middle of the forest.

By and by he came to an enclosure with a little wooden hut in the center, and a chimney of stone, with smoke coming out of the top. He strode up to the doorstep and knocked three times, and after waiting for about twenty seconds, he was about to walk back and look for another way inside the hut, when the door slowly -- slowly -- slowly creaked open, and what Yoshimitsu saw inside made his guts squirm and made him scream with fear so loudly that he wished he had never, never, never challenged the old man and never gone into the forest in the first place and never bragged to the villagers about how he could kill the old man. What Yoshimitsu saw filled him with so much and such terror that it would forever haunt his dreams at night, and it would forever blind his mind during the day, and he would become a nutcase, and he would become mad.

Yoshimitsu saw hell.


From June 27, 2019

She sang as a bird

She sang as a bird -
I said, C sharp.
And she sang melodious words -
Like a kiss on my heart -

And she looked at me with a gaze which entered my soul -
And she cried with me with such pain that weathered my scroll -
Brittny, a woman whose voice is the tinkling of myriads of silver bells -
Your voice contains the beauty of a thousand shining silver wind chimes -
Your eyes like pure doves - your hair like a radiant garment of silk -
Your body which is so tender, beautiful, fragile, and delicate - your skin like milk -
And your hair black like a raven in the night of judgment, darkness, and woe -
Your dark hair shining with hope -
Your voice unique as a crystal mirror with seven golden notes and made of seven rare stones -
Please look at me again, and say to me, that you love me.
I know you know my name.
Please tell me - please tell me - please tell me - that -
You love me.
Your spirit resides inside my soul -
And for all the misty, magical despairs told -
And for all the quiet, weeping hearts searching for gold -
And for all the frustration, confusion and despair in the world -
I know that you are somewhere here -
Somewhere here -
Somewhere here -
Give me a chance.
Open your heart to me.
Give me your love.
You are the only one - to me.
Look into my eyes and look into my soul
And see all the sleeping sadness and the sleeping woes and the sleeping, loving thoughts I have had -
Of you -
And all the gorgeous, terrible love I have had -
For you -
And all the passionate, quiet, consuming passion-fire I have had -
For you -

For you -

For you -

And kiss me every day and every night.
Don't let me go -- out of your sight.
I won't let you leave -- my holy habitation -
Because, Brittny -- I hope you won't want to.

I'll be your protector, I'll be your shield -
Just be my subjected, and be my field -
Be my garden and be my young plant -
Be my beloved and be my continual chant -
Be my Brittny, be my desire -
Be my quickening, be my passionfire -

Be her who kisses me on the lips -
And says, "Well done! my beautiful husband," -
Be her who righteously gives me a hug -
And weeps her heart into my shoulder and soul -

When I see you every day -
When I see you every day -
When I see you every day -
I know -
And I know -
And I know -
And I know -
And I know -
And I know -
That you -
Brittny -
Are There.

From June 27, 2019

Just tell me one thing

Just tell me one thing.
Are you with me or not?
Because when you wear bling
Your heart shines [too] -- with five hundred watts ...

And when I hear your voice through spiritual space -
And when I kiss you through the air -
I feel and have a glimpse of your grace -
And keenly perceive - your sweetness so fair -

I slept in the dark - not knowing my place -
Feeling my way - through mansions and fate -
I sensed your presence - residing in an empty plaza.

And I walked up to you and I tried to touch your pale face -
But my hand simply swept through your palatable pate -
And a blue tear trickled down your white cheek -
and you fell into my bosom and entered my heart -

I search for you everywhere -
From the depths of the ocean to the top of the skies -
I know where you are, and I know where you'll die -
Forever be free, forever be mine -
Brittny to be, Brittny to fly -
Brittny to be, Brittny - be mine.

Bizarre Bazaar.

Chapter One.

I was walking in a desert place. My name is Boris. Just call me Boris.
So yes, I was walking in a desert place, and the land was flat, all around me: And a dust storm was beginning to brew.
The sun was dimly shining a yellow hue down upon me, and the ground upon which I trod was sometimes of cement and sometimes of dried earth.
I had been going for several hours, and all of a sudden a shop front appeared in my view, underneath a rocky crag, hidden previously.
It was a closed-air bazaar, and a door beckoned, metaphorically.
The title of this store which I could see, hung in a dusty poster with the letters written in large black Sharpie marker, were:

Serpent's Emporium

Curiously, I approached the door.
The wind was blowing stronger; I estimated a current seventeen miles-per-hour south-blowing wind.
The reddish-orangish dust was really kicking up into clods and clouds from the flat land, and I was suddenly finding it rather difficult to breathe.
I hustled into the storefront, which offered a sandy, grubby aerial awning that provided some protection from this clogging dust, that once may have been white, and for which I was grateful, and I pressed my eyes to the glass on the door's dusty, small, vertical window, which was imbibed with black crosshatches.
Through the dust and the hatch lines I could see a dim, naked lightbulb hanging from a string, illuminating a sphere of small radius around it, and in this orb of light I could discern stacks of plywood, cans of WD-40 next to a large shelf that seemed to be holding variously shaped darkened objects, and small metal cans of what I thought might be dog food stacked on the ground next to the WD-40 cans.

I removed my eyes from the glass window, but as I did so I thought I caught sight of some black-cloaked figure that slipped out from behind the large shelf on the left and disappeared to the right, into an internal eclipse, cast by these apparently numerous objects and the clutter inside this store-hut, that is, this "bizarre bazaar."

I hastily pressed my eyes back to the glass, my heart of-a-sudden thumping fast and hard, but I saw nothing that had appeared to change, and no sudden movement, but the identical scene I had seen before this.
I inhaled slowly and exhaled, thinking in my mind that I had possibly imagined this phenomenon due to the dust I had inhaled and my brain's longing for rest.

I was more intrigued, though, and to top it off, my stomach was crying for food, and my tongue for water.
I decided to take a gamble and go inside.

I pulled on the metal handle, but the door merely budged a little bit.
It would not fully open.
I groaned.

"What do I do?"

I examined the handle and the matter around it.
The handle was stuck in a metallic plate, which appeared specifically to be of titanium.
Why would such a valuable metal be used for the door of this cheap outlet? The handle was of the same metal, and below the handle there was both a keylock and a padlock.
I frowned.
This seemed like high security for such a remote market.

I did not have a key, but I could resort to try to pick the lock.
But, I supposed, it made sense to try the padlock first.
A key was operated mechanically, and so if the padlock opened the door as the key did, then if the padlock eventually locked me out for a timespan, I could then try to pick the keylock, unless there also was an electronic security defense measure.
I hoped that it was not necessary to have both the key and passcode, but only one of them.

I scrutinized the padlock.
There was the normal layout, 0 through 9, and, oddly, a key that, rather than saying 'Enter', had printed on its surface five characters, all in lowercase: 'jimmy'.
I took this to mean to 'jimmy', as in to force or pry open a door with a crowbar, rather than a man's name.
There were also four extra buttons with squiggly symbols on them.
Two of them looked like arabic characters of some sort, خ and ي, one looked like a long hyphen, ― , and one that looked like with a circle with a hyphen inside it, Θ.
I was dismayed to see that there was no display, so I had no clue in that regard, as to how long the passcode might be.
Furthermore, it appeared that the buttons were not backlit, and so I could not be sure if the entire mechanism was still working, that is, if it had a battery, if the battery had died, or if it were malfunctioning, or even if it were a decoy and fake altogether.

I pressed the 0 button experimentally.
The numbers 0 through 9 were in a typeface that reminded me of Wide Latin, and in a dark-greenish font color, almost black.

The button depressed by about a centimeter and popped back out with no mechanical or electronic noise or indication that the device had received my input.
I began to doubt that it was working at all. I pressed the 1, then the 2, then the 3, and then pressed the cryptic 'jimmy' button.

The device reacted abruptly.
To my fright, a loud alarum began to wail from inside the shop building.
It was a stentorian call, a siren (my mind automatically placed it as a tone in the key of F, that is, approximately 349 hertz) that reminded me of the timbre of an emergency ambulance vehicle, except this tone was continuous and solid, albeit muffled from through the titanium door.

I was frozen by shock for a moment, and then I gasped and hurled my body away from the door, back into the dust storm.
By this time the sun was beginning to set and it was getting dark outside, the red dust was flying about and it was getting hard to see, and it was already hard to breathe.
I crept around the side of the building and hunched over behind a barrel labeled 'Swine Cellulose', and bided my time.

The blaring noise went on from that point for about five seconds more, and then unexpectedly ceased.
My heart was beating up a storm, and I breathed in and out deeply six times to calm myself.
I listened.

No footsteps.
No voices.
In fact, all seemed as it were before.
Yet that cloaked figure was haunting the back of my mind.

I crept along the side of the building again (this side was made of brick), and I peered around the corner.
No change.
My stomach suddenly panged with hunger, and my tongue was swollen.
I gasped and crept quickly back to the door.
I grimaced and gritted my teeth.
If the alarum bell went off, it went off.
At least someone might answer, in which case I could beg for food and drink.
I had to do something.

I knelt down onto my knees and tried all the numerical four-digit combinations with the repeating digits four times.
0000, 1111, 2222, 3333, and so forth.
Ten times total.
The entire process took me perhaps ten seconds, and the alarm bell activated on 0000, but only ended bawling around two seconds before my last input, 9999.

I frowned in the dusty wind. What could help me solve this?
Well, the weird squiggles were probably in the passcode.
But there had to be some clues.
I looked back to the signpost in front of the building.

Crabapple Forestry, Inc.
870 Merry Circle Drive
(Uncharted Micronesian Isle)

Well, we had a number.
I rushed back to the keypad and typed eight-seven-zero and pressed 'jimmy'.
I was rewarded with eight seconds of blare, but this time I instinctively knew something was different.
Something... the pitch.
The pitch was slightly higher.
This alarm was in the key of G.
392 Hertz.
Yes, there definitely was a difference.
I pulled hard on the titanium handle again.
Again, the door budged very slightly and did not yield further.
I slammed the door with both palms.
Nothing but a dull thud, which echoed dimly inside the edifice.

My stomach curled unpleasantly, as if it knew I were being watched.
Nevertheless, I ran back to the sign to inspect for more clues.

I scanned the phrasing closely.

Crabapple Forestry, Inc.
870 Merry Circle Drive
(Uncharted Micronesian Isle)

What else could it be?
I could try it backwards, 078.
Or any of the permutations, that is, 3*2*1 == 6 permutations...

I suddenly had a vision.
The moon was coming out behind dust-clouds and water-clouds, and a chink of pure moonlight in the form of a diagonal beam of reflected incandescence streaked down to meet me and impacted upon the wooden sign... The light fell upon one character, and all the rest of the sign went dark...

There was a horizontal line in the zero in the 870, in 870 Merry Circle Drive...

87Θ Merry Circle Drive...

as soon as I had understood and comprehended this fact, the light-path slid horizontally across the wooden signpost to another character...

Something was different about the capital 'C' in Circle...

87Θ Merry خircle Drive...

Again I understood this fact, and as soon as I had I understood it, the light patch slid to a final location on the signpost..


Then all of a sudden, the light twinkled out and I took a deep, sudden breath, as though jarred awake.
I was standing in front of the signpost.
It was now completely dark.
The dust was still blowing, and the wind.
Had I fallen asleep?

And yet this memory, this vision, was deeply ingrained in my mind; it was a clear, vivid image, imprinted in my mind.

I strode over to the keypad and typed in:


I then pressed 'jimmy', slowly and in a surreal manner, as if in a dream.

To my amazement, the entire keypad glowed with a bright-green backlight, keys and all, in the form of a wave, from left to right.

No alarum went off, and I knew I had succeeded.

I lifted a dreamy, insubstantial, wavering right hand and grabbed the door handle and pulled on it.

It budged a little bit and again did not yield fully.

What should I do? I thought, but my heart already knew this answer.

I set myself into a defensive martial stance, lifted my front leg and snapped it in a standing front kick.

The titanium door crumpled like feta cheese, and fell backward into the darkness of the tienda.

I heard no slamming which would have signified it had hit a bottom.

The darkness was whispering around, tangibly wisping around, reaching out of the tienda, feeling its way outside into this fresh, new, strange, unfamiliar and unknown environment, and all of a sudden a black arm reached out, like a sticky, dark substance, and took the form of a morphed, mutated, creepy human arm with fingers, and gradually reached for my heart, trying not to be noticed by me. It was stretching, stretching itself thin.

I watched it, and I watched it get closer.
But just before it touched me, it suddenly contorted and bent out of its surreal shape, and then began to writhe and roll, becoming distorted and mutated and misshapen, as if it were experiencing a horrible, excruciating pain.
It suddenly emitted a loud, piercing, inhuman and supernatural shriek and then dissipated into the sky, first losing its dark, black opacity, to a substance that began to become transparent, and then more transparent, weak, almost grayscale, and then suddenly it fizzled and became white as foaming, crashing, rolling water, and then it sparkled and exploded into complete, real and true water, which flew up into the heavens above.

This monstrous beast had disappeared.

I now slowly proceeded into this demented tienda, wondering what secrets it yet held for me.

A Story.

Endless streams of water poured down my cheeks. I woke to darkness and fell asleep to rolling, uncomfortable, restless, dark-moving shadows and endless rollings of anguish.

The days became nights for me. The nights became excruciatingly long and painful ordeals of sorrow.

My brain was destroyed, my body withered, my mind decayed, my feelings imploded and broken and exploded and unfeeling and trashed and destroyed, my thoughts ablaze and amiss and one hundred miles per hour, and then zero miles per hour.

My feelings, emotions and deeper stirrings were of deep sorrow. My eyes were blank and empty. My tears were crystallized, and my mind dead. I could not sleep. Food held no pleasure for me. Water could not quench my thirst. My insides were burning. My heart and limbs were dead. My sides were aflame. Every day and every night were excruciating, were torture.

The songs I sang were of insanity, and every night I cried out, Why. And I was alone. I just want to know why.

[from February 6, 2019]

If we associated a word with a color and this word is 'untenable' and the color is yellow... and 'untenable' means incapable of being defended, as an argument, thesis, etc.; indefensible.

insupportable, as of an argument.

flimsy, as of an argument. Having no basis. Weak.

And so if this is a new word for someone and he begins to use the word 'untenable', and if we say that this person, we can call him A, with this mental phenomenon B, that every time he says the word 'untenable', in his conversations with people, he sees yellow in his mind.

That is, he sees yellow pinpoints in his mind, which he associates with the word 'untenable', creeping closer and closer and deeper into his consciousness. Imagine that your mind is a sphere and that at the center of the sphere are your deeper and stronger desires, fears, emotions, and beliefs, and on the surface of the sphere is your outer appearance and some of what you use to interact with the external world.

So imagine this yellow energy creeping closer into your deeper consciousness every time you use the word 'untenable' until it fuses with the main body of your consciousness, that is, the rest of your mind, and joins it. Then it becomes a natural part of your vocabulary.

And this process actually happens when you use the word 'untenable.' But because I wanted to see the colors in my mind continue to shift around, I tried to force the images and hues in my mind to shift around, and of course that didn't work, because at that point I was doing something else. The colors came from the action I was doing. As soon as I started to try to force the mental chromas to do something, it didn't work properly. That's why a lot of the problems occurred in my life after my time in a certain location during the period that was supposed to be the term of recovery.

Life works in, I think, this pattern: Do -> Think -> Feel. We feel a certain way, whether dirty or clean, happy or sad, angry or guilty or joyful or peaceful or whatever the emotion is -- because we think a certain way. We think a certain way and have patterns of thoughts because of what we have done. If you start doing something differently, even if you do not initially feel like it, your thoughts begin to change, and your mental images begin to change, and then how you feel begins to change. If you feel dirty because you were masturbating, then stop masturbating and start serving people or doing chores or working at an honest job and then you will begin to feel better. Use the parts of your body you previously used for wickedness, now for righteousness. Paul mentions that in Romans 6:13.

What my mind was doing was producing a visual representation in colors -- red, blue, purple, yellow, et cetera -- of everything I was doing, for some reason. That was happening. My mind was hyperactive. Because of the drugs. The varicolored luminescence I saw in my mind was partly because of the hyperactive experience that occurred in high school which I had, and largely because of the drugs. The anti-depressant Prozac (fluoxetine) (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor (SSRI)), Abilify (aripiprazole), the atypical antipsychotic, Zyprexa (olanzapine, antipsychotic), Risperdal (risperidone, antipsychotic), and Escitalopram Oxalate ( a Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor (SSRI)), the brand name of which is called Lexapro.


Think and believe that God loves you. Because he does. It is a true statement that God loves you.

And so this is what I'm going to do. I'll keep thinking God loves me, because it is good and healthy to think that and to dwell on that true statement.

Paul says in Philippians 4:8-9 to think about whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and praiseworthy.

It is true that God loves you. So think that.

Observe the reaction of certain people when you say that God loves people. See what people say. This might show the amount of guilt with which they struggle. When alias Z preached a lesson on grace one day in the church building, alias Y preached afterward a lesson on a different topic to, in his words, in his mind, "balance it". But perhaps Z's lesson actually WAS the balancing.

Do not let people belittle you. When you want to say something, speak your mind, and I would guess people will use a patronizing tone - "mhm" - as if they know where this is going to lead. (I won't say condescending cordiality. But something perhaps close to it.) But that doesn't necessarily mean that they know where it is going to lead. It means, I think, that they THINK that they know where it is going to lead. But people who work hard can come up with new discoveries, even if they're young.

God loves me. God loves you. If you're a man, think about "God loves me" when you go to bed, instead of dwelling on women. And if you're a woman, think that God loves you as you fall asleep instead of thinking about whether a man loves you or about having sex with a man with whom you are infatuated.

These issues need to be spoken about. Exposure is the first step to healing. Both physiologically and socially. Cuts heal when exposed to oxygen. In the same way, the first step to remedying a collective social problem is to expose it. To raise awareness of it. To tell people about it. Get people to realize that this actually IS a problem. Because problems thrive in the dark. With certain diseases that have been there for a long time, years perhaps, like certain Sexually Transmitted Diseases, at a certain point all the symptoms hit you at once.

So this is helpful for me. Instead of focusing on an image I get in my head, or a feeling, or a visual representation of what is actually happening, focusing instead on the actual doing is what helps and gives me the progress for which I long.

Do not beat yourself up mentally, emotionally, or physically. Mental self-abuse leads to emotional self-harm, which leads to physical self-abuse and self-harm, which leads to, if it goes on for long enough, suicide. Believe me.

Now if people use a patronizing tone 'mhm' as if to say, 'I was once there, he'll grow out of it' - it does not necessarily need to be so at all. You can detect that they are trying, perhaps, to suppress this because they are afraid. And they do not know why. Who is 'they'? Anyone who suppresses grace and truth with guilt, fear, doubt, unnecessary humiliation, and shame.

Certain issues need to be discussed.

We need to do the right thing.


Perhaps certain brothers and sisters in Christ see me as having an 'electrical mind', and by that I mean not completely sane. Unstable. As being, if sufficient time is allowed and given, willing to make a change, and going to make a change, and as having already pushed for change.

When issues of grace are spoken of, you can see the uncertainty in church members, perhaps, a tad of fear, and discomfort and uneasiness.

Think: God loves me.

Perhaps, in the church, when we hear someone talking about grace, and when we start thinking on grace, we get a sense of, and our minds immediately jump to, 'Oh, that's ok, you can think on grace... but what about this? THIS is really what being a Christian is about.' - And by THIS, they mean works. Works are good. Works are necessary. The problem occurs when we hyper-accentuate works, to the neglect of grace being highlighted; this produces guilt and guilty feelings in people. Their solution is to go back to more works, to the extent that we feel guilty again. Because guilt entraps those who foster and accommodate it. Works are good. But too much concentration on works without enough on grace leads to excessive guilt.

Excessive guilt leads to suicide. It begins with feeling bad, then with telling yourself lies, then with beating yourself up mentally, then with beating yourself physically, and with cutting yourself, then with suicidal ideation, then with partially pretended and partially serious and intended suicidal actions, then with actual suicidal attempts and then with the completed act of suicide.

If you let this happen, you're helping the problem and being affected by it.

The mind is a continuous instrument of thought. Let me explain what I mean. If someone, person A, thinks a thought to the effect that "As long as I know this, I am good, I've wrapped up my problem, I need to put no further effort into such and such a cause." Then say we have a group of people, called group B, who attacks this thought that A has and makes A see the foolishness of his current thought. Because people generally want to influence others to think the way they think, whether because they have a cause they want to spread, or because they think they are doing the world some good, or because they believe that to be a Christian they need to correct the thinking of those whom they deem as going astray. I call it mental magnetism. To override or block out someone else's train of thought and put your own thoughts into their minds. A type of brainwashing. Not allowing a person to think through something for himself. It's not good.

Now when A realizes what happened, he thinks another thought to justify the first thought he had, but group B is waiting and again attacks THAT thought, putting person A back in the same situation, making him feel foolish. And so he gets confused. Group B is trying to impede, hinder, or entrap person A mentally and/or practically, that is, in his actions. Do not let that happen. The way you do not let that happen is simply to push through with action, knowing what is right, even if you feel like it's wrong, even though your mind may bounce from idea to idea or image to image. Do --> think --> feel. And the more you do right, even if you feel like it's wrong initially, the more it will begin to feel right. Train your mind to understand that right is right and wrong is wrong.

Sometimes conversations and relationships are like a game of chess. Be one step ahead. Be two steps ahead. Be TEN steps ahead. Plan this out. Be prepared. If 'they' try to trap the very thought that's keeping you going, or your motive, be prepared for that in advance and counterattack it. Be ready beforehand. Anticipate. Prepare. Take action.

Mental magnetism. If someone tries to override your thoughts, to change your beliefs and your thinking -- perhaps even while you are not fully aware of it -- then do this:

Push through in action, and then your thoughts will begin to build a resistance against external mental attacks.


Side note:

Take video games. Possibly video game designers are hired by the government to put certain things into first person shooters to prepare boys and young men for warfare if it ever were to be necessary. In Call of Duty: Modern Warfare there is a mission in which you are in control of an AC-130 Spectre gunship. To my knowledge the interface is very similar to that of an actual AC-130 interface, where life and death is at stake.

The government, I believe, is conditioning the minds of its people without its people even being aware of it.

Do not let this happen.

Discussions are helpful and useful. God gives us free will. He lets us make choices that do not need to depend on other people or the choices that other people make. Even for other brothers and sisters in Christ. Here's an example of what I'm trying to get across.

Alias X believes climate change is completely fabricated by the government. He's in his eighties. I respect the elderly. But I'm saying that whether he's right or wrong, does that automatically mean I must now have the same belief on climate change that he does? No. But if you talk to him he might try to get you to share his belief on climate change. Do not automatically give in to someone else's belief just because they are older, just because even they are wiser, just because even if they're a Christian. Just because they're trying to pressure you into something. Whether feminist, whether philsophical, whether religious, whatever it is. Have a good reason for your beliefs. Do the research yourself.

Stick to your guns. Because there are people inside and outside of the church who will attempt to change your beliefs if you don't stand for your own beliefs. They'll look for those with weaker beliefs and attempt to destruct their beliefs.

I am a man of God and can make my own decisions. Christian women are women of God and can make their own decisions. People need to make their own decisions and be independent. People need to not be yoked to what someone else says just because a person says it. Just because someone says something doesn't mean it is true. Think about this yourself, analyze, figure it out, and make a judgment call. God gives us minds TO USE. TO THINK. And we are given our minds by God so that we can do the right thing. We can discern the proper course of action.

Another thing is this.

I think that people have thought that I was literally possessed by the devil. By Satan. In my last semester of college, there were two different people, I was thinking hard, and they were about to say the word "Satan." They didn't quite finish the word -- it was in different contexts, and it started in the one case as "Sata--" or something along those lines, while she was giving a presentation on a political topic, maybe she was meaning to say something else, but the thought I think was there. In her mind. I think because they think that I was possessed by Satan. I admit the possibility of a different reason she said that. But something was the case here.

I'm not possessed by Satan. God loves me. God loves you. I'm not an advocate of post-modern relativism.

But the statements God loves me and God loves you are both true, and so why is it that when we hear those statements we maybe automatically jump to "You're a liberal Baptist or even a Charismatic who believes in unconditional love?" ... And perhaps in one sense God's love is unconditional, and in another, it is conditional. But what I'm saying is this. If our minds do this, why do they, upon hearing God loves me and God loves you, automatically jump to, and think thoughts such as, "But what about works? What about doing things? Are you a relativist?"

Those two statements, God loves me, and God loves you, do not necessarily imply at all that I'm a relativist or a post-modernist.

You also get a notion that there is almost a patronizing or belittling sense from certain adults - in the church, perhaps - who try to make you think that you are sinful, I mean, as in, currently in sin -- and we have sinned, but we are cleansed when we become Christians, when we confess our sin, when we repent and stop doing the wrong - it is like certain older brothers and sisters in Christ, perhaps? - try to make you feel like, "Oh, he doesn't know what he's talking about. Poor little kid. Let's just feel sorry for him, give him a bit of the warm and fuzzy feelings, care about him, eh, and then move on." But if they do not actually and practically help - there's some good in emotional comfort, but there's a ton of good they just ignored. The point of emotional comfort is for practical health, functionality and ability. This is the frustrating part, that it seems to me often we stop at the emotional comfort part when we see someone in need and are perhaps afraid to give the actual help he or she needs. Well, what good is that? Emotional help is one thing. It can make it easier for someone to practically live and do and act better in the long run. But if that is all someone gets, then what good is that? How is that actually giving the help that we need? How is that going to help us in life?

Maybe they make us feel humiliated, or something - but are they going to give us external, physical help? I mean, for example, if a brother is struggling so much with guilt that he thinks that THINKING is wrong, and studying and going to school and completing his homework is wrong, and he goes to a church building on Sunday and receives tons of hugs, kisses, even tears, but no one actually verbally addresses the problem (because it is RIGHT to think for good, to use your mind for good, to learn, to go to school, to study, to do well in your homework) then guess what? The problem is going to continue. This needs to be spoken of. We need to shed light on these problems. We need to stop leaving our problems in the dark and we need to start discussing the points which are to the group as a whole ambiguous and ill-defined. Because it is in those areas that treacherous people will shroud themselves, because there is not a clearly defined pattern of thought in the group on how to deal with it, because it is not openly discussed.

Whether that is in simply talking about an issue in which you feel trapped, or giving you food if you have been starving for three days, or an opportunity to discuss what the problem is and steps to solve it, e.g. can I say the pledge of allegiance, can I take an oath if I am entering a political office, what is gluttonous, et cetera, et cetera. Or, getting a job, what kind of job to get. Instead, they might say, "Oh, poor boy!" and give an emotional portrayal, and feel a little sorry for you, and make you feel humiliated, and then they move on. They do not provide the help you really need. And that is a problem. Because as long as the root concerns are not being addressed, they will persist, and not only will they persist but they will metastasize. From person to person. That's how guilt works, too. It worsens over time and spreads, as cancer does.

If the direction of statements, conversations, and lessons is wrong; if the underlying tone of words spoken is in error, and is faulty, and is misdirected; then we will see that the subconscious ideas generated in the people listening to such talk will become unhealthy, because those thoughts in their minds are a reflection of what they have heard and a reflection of the words on which they have dwelt in their minds and thinking. So they will begin to feel subconsciously guilty, and not know why; such talk will make people feel subconsciously guilty when there is no need to feel subconsciously guilty.

Emotional help helps. But we're looking not just for that, not just to end there; but to get emotionally healthy, physically healthy and functional, able and active.

Or maybe brothers and sisters try to get you to feel wicked when you are not. When they try to make you feel as if there are all sorts of evils in you - when it is not necessarily so, at all. When it is an illusion of guilt, making you think that you are dirty when you are not.

Or if 'they' make you feel like you did something wrong when you did nothing wrong. Or 'they' laugh like you did something wrong, like they know something you didn't, and that so-called 'knowledge' they think they know happens to be that you did something wrong, when all the while you did nothing wrong. This is a problem.

Someone was smiling at me in a weird way when I sat down at a certain location in the church building. As if it were a sin to sit down in a certain chair. When the whole time we KNOW that there is nothing wrong with sitting down in a certain chair versus another chair in the church building. If people are thinking this way, it is sad that they think sitting in such a chair versus another chair in a building is right or wrong, when the real issues of right and wrong are issues of refraining from evil versus murder and murder of infants and conceived human lifeforms; of buying and working versus stealing; of respect versus irreverent impudence; of speaking the truth versus lying; of honesty versus flattery; of marriage between one man and one woman versus homosexuality and orgies and adultery and fornication and pornography; of worship of God versus idolatry, paganism, shamanism, necromancy. THOSE are the issues of right and wrong and WE ALL KNOW those are the issues of right and wrong. We need to stop getting caught up in the details like where to sit in a building, because it doesn't really matter where you sit in a building. It is not wrong. The issues of right and wrong are evident to us.


Exposure is the first step to healing. As the healing of a wound is catalyzed by oxygen, so the first step to curing a problem in the church is to expose it. And then it begins to heal.

So when someone thinks, God loves me, good. Is that a true thought? Yes. Then think on it. God loves me. Paul says to think on whatever things are true. God loves me.

It is healthy to think on that thought.


If we center so much on works that we miss vital, crucial parts of doctrine like grace and truth, then that situation and atmosphere and ambiance will become unhealthy; it will lead to tragic events and problems. And guess what? That is an indicator that something is wrong. In the same way as when someone breaks his arm, and it hurts a lot; so when people in a church or in a group begin to have personal or social problems due to the doctrine being taught, that pain and that disturbance shows you that a serious problem has occurred and is occurring.


Sometimes I wonder if certain contradictions are also said in the pulpit. Let me give you an example.

Let us say that evangelist A, on Sunday, in the lesson says first that "What Jesus said in John 8:58- 'Truly, truly, I say to you, before Abraham was, I am' -- was not grammatically correct -- that is, you would grammatically want a past tense first-person "to be" verb after the I, that is, "was" -- meaning to imply that we don't always have to be grammatically correct to get a point across, a point that transcends earthly thinking. In this case, the point being made is that Jesus is God, and the Son of God, and always has been since the beginning in Genesis 1:1.

And then secondly, on another point of doctrine, evangelist A says this: "In referring to the church of God, we know that it is Christ's church, so don't say 'my church', say 'Christ's church' ".

But these two points are an apparent contradiction. Because we know that in grammar, possessive pronouns, such as its, my, his, our, your, her, their -- indicate possession. Someone owns something else.

We could use fragments like

its slice of pizza,
my slice of pizza,
his slice of pizza,
her slice of pizza,
our slice of pizza,
your slice of pizza,
their slice of pizza.

When we say, "Christ's church, HIS church," we mean the assembly that Christ possesses, heads, and owns.

Remember, church means congregation, or assembly. In this case, a congregation of people, an assemblage of people, a group of people.

And if I say, "my church", -- "my group, my assemblage, my congregation"-- what I mean is, (particularly when referring to a local church, a local group, a local regular gathering): the church I attend, of which I am a member. I don't necessarily mean "the church that I own." I know: Y is trying to get us to see through the falsehood of relativism. I agree with him there. But it's not wrong, I think, to say "my church", not implying that "everyone has their own church, we're all good", but rather, "the church which I attend."

Okay, and maybe I won't use that terminology 'my church', to avoid confusion. But to condemn someone for saying 'my church'? That's not right to condemn someone for saying 'my church'.

Because he just was implying, I think, in the John 8 example, that we can mean something without having all the right grammar for it. So I'm using his idea there, in my example about the possessive pronouns.

So if you have a problem with relativism, just SAY it, rather than implying it, I think. To clarify your point. To ensure you communicate what you say, and not to cause confusion by making people think you are communicating something which you actually are not intending to communicate.

And so another possessive pronoun example. To discriminate means to make a distinction, to distinguish accurately, to make a difference, to observe a difference.

So, not all gender discrimination is wrong. Not all gender discrimination is bad.

The truth is, there is a difference between the two genders. TWhen people say, "It's my body." and, "I can do what I want with it." Well, sure: You can do what you want with it, but that doesn't guarantee that what you do with it is right or wrong; it depends what exactly you do with it.

Paul says in 1 Cor 6:15 this:

Do you not know that YOUR BODIES are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never!

So he just used the possessive pronoun "your" with "bodies."

And again in verse 18:

Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against HIS OWN BODY.

Not only does he use "his" with body here, he also uses "own" to emphasize the point, i.e. "his own body."

And then in verse 19:

Or do you not know that YOUR BODY is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, WHOM YOU HAVE FROM GOD? YOU ARE NOT YOUR OWN, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in YOUR BODY.

So we see that in one sense our bodies are our own; we can say "my body"; and in another sense our bodies belong to God; that is, God owns our bodies; we could accurately say "The body I have is my body which I have from God."

So in the same sense, to say, I believe, "my church" is not necessarily wrong at all.

Take another example in Mark 2:19. Jesus says

Can the wedding guests fast while the bridegroom is with them? As long as they have the bridegroom with them, they cannot fast."

But what if I said, The wedding guests could literally fast. They could literally go to the wedding event and just not eat any food and not drink anything. They COULD do that. Now Jesus says "they cannot fast", and everything Jesus says is true. So does that mean I lied when I say "they could fast?" Well, no. Because they literally could. Jesus is saying to do something at the appropriate time. Reminiscent of Ecclesiastes 3. For everything there is a time. But am I wrong for making the point I make? I don't think so, no. So I'm not lying when I say "they could fast" because what I mean is true. And what Jesus means is true.

Jesus doesn't explicitly tell us everything physical about the universe. He doesn't deeply describe psychology and mental states and mental illnesses and phenomena, even though God is the one who created men, women, and their brains. Does that mean we cannot or should not talk about psychology, and mental illnesses, and the parts of the brain? Absolutely not. We should talk about psychology, biology, neurology, ecology, computer science, communications theory, and even philosophy, and more, because that helps us understand the world, helps us get careers, and helps us gain knowledge. God wants us to gain knowledge and work hard. Understanding the world helps us understand God. God is the creator; the universe is the creation. The world points toward God. The creation points toward a creator. And God leaves a lot of the questions of life open-ended for us to figure out and to dissect. I mean less of theology and eschatology, and more of simply how the world works and the state of things. The Bible never says that learning philosophy is wrong. Because learning philosophy is not wrong.


Unnecessary guilt is an unnecessary hindrance to life.

Imagine dragging a 200-lb iron spherical weight tied to you by a titanium chain wherever you go. It does not need to be there. It will slow you down and weigh you down and eventually you will get tired of it if you are unable to cut it from you, and you will be driven to suicide rather than deal with this huge impediment all your life. Worse: Imagine that every second, every sixtieth of a minute, the mass of the 200-lb iron sphere increases by one ounce.

Guilt crushes your thinking, your life, your feelings, all of who you are. You become consumed by it. You become unable to do anything. It kills you. In every sense of the word. And it gets worse over time if it is not dealt with.


So what do we do? I'll leave you with this.

I would say start probing this yourself and start asking people questions. Start asking about this. Think on true thoughts.

Think for yourself. Start building your faith. Read the Bible. Read other books. See through false religious texts.

Work hard and study and learn about the world. Tell people about how it points to the truth of God.

From February 6, 2019

To discriminate means to make a distinction, to distinguish accurately, to make a difference, to observe a difference.

So, not all gender discrimination is wrong. Not all gender discrimination is bad.

The truth is, there is a difference between the two genders. That is, there is a discrimination between males and females.

There are two genders: Male and female.

Gender is not a spectrum, nor is it merely a sociological construct.

Genesis 1:27 reads "So God created man in his own image; in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them."

Genesis 3:16 reads as follows: "To the woman He said: 'I will sharply increase your pain in childbirth; in pain you will bring forth children. You will desire your husband, and he will rule over you.'"

Note that some translations translate this as "you will desire to control your husband."

Perhaps some might say that the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning, Queer movement is a new movement. Note that the perverted and wicked notion of homosexuality is not a new phenomenon.

As a side note, note that the word 'gay' previously had a pure meaning - happy - and still does; and the word 'queer' previously had a pure meaning - strange - and still does; but people have taken pure words and adulterated and contaminated the meaning of the words, attempting to make them impure.

This is called the pollution, corruption and infection of words by perverted men and women.

The way to purify the words in the minds of people is for you to start using the words in their pure and proper sense.

So let this be your attitude: If my opponent speaks out on wicked issues, then I will speak out the truth louder than he speaks.

And let this be your attitude: If he is outspoken on perversion, then I will be even more outspoken on righteousness.

Because it is by using these words in their righteous, pure and proper sense that the words become purified once again.

So this is a battle in the world for meaning. For pure meaning versus perverted, dirtied, defiled and depraved meaning.

Stand for the right and the pure. Hate the impure and the evil.

The word lesbian is derived from the word Lesbos, which is the third largest island of Greece.

Sappho was a Greek homosexual woman, a poet, who lived around 630 to 570 Before Christ, from Lesbos.

This type of perversion is not new. What it is: It is disgusting.

Biologically, we see that gender is discrete. There is an X chromosome and there is a Y chromosome.

Physiologically, we see that men are stronger and larger in general than women. Thus, naturally they are more dominant.

Socially, we see that men are naturally better leaders than women.

Socially, we see that women are more easily deceived than men.

1 Timothy 2:13-15 reads:
For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. Yet she will be saved through childbearing - if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.

Emotionally, we see that a woman wants a form of dominance in a man, and that she is attracted to a masculine man, and that she wants a male leader to follow.

We see that a man wants a woman to be submissive to him.

Our American culture is trying to masculinize women and effeminate men. This is perverted, wrong, and backwards.

Resist this. Fight against it. If you are a man, do not let a woman attempt to effeminate you. If you are a woman, do not let those who call themselves feminists masculinize you.

Now take the following verse which Paul wrote in the Holy Spirit, and note the context:
Galatians 3:27-29:

For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek,
there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
And if you are Christ's, then you are Abraham's offspring, heirs according to promise.

What Paul is saying is not that homosexuality is okay, neither is he saying that gender is a continuum. What Paul is saying is that both Jews and Greeks, both slaves and freedmen, both males and females are one in Christ Jesus. All can be saved through Christ Jesus. Read it again, and the context makes it increasingly clear.

Jump over to 1 Corinthians 6:9. The letter of 1 Corinthians was written by Paul and Sosthenes.

The same Paul tells the church (the assemblage of people) in Corinth this:
1 Cor 6:9-11:

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived:
Neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

Someone might ask: Paul says "men who practice homosexuality" will not inherit the kingdom of God. Does that mean women can practice homosexuality and still inherit the kingdom of God?

The answer is no. Read this again, and you see that Paul uses the word "men" to refer to both men and women.

The feminist might say: That's an unfair gender slant.

To which I respond: God created man first, and then created woman from the man, that is, from his rib.

Adam actually acknowledged this himself:

Genesis 2:21-25:

So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh.
And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.
Then the man said, 'This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.'
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

[from Jan 21, 2019]

(second point) The Bible starts immediately from verse 1 talking about what God does. It is authoritative, it answers our questions of life, it communicates deep truths to us. The Bhagavad Gita does not do that. It is weak, unauthoritative, and you'll see that when you read it and compare it to the Bible. It's some poetry some person or people wrote up. Shakespeare wrote better plays, in my opinion, so far in my reading of the Gita.

Here's how the Gita starts:

Ranged thus for battle on the sacred plain--
On Kurukshetra--say, Sanjaya! say
What wrought my people, and the Pandavas?
When he beheld the host of Pandavas,
Raja Duryodhana to Drona drew,
And spake these words: "Ah, Guru! see this line,
How vast it is of Pandu fighting-men..."

The Quran, again. Mechanical, rote, mindless, routine repetition. That's not true religion.
As soon as you read the Quran you see that it is rote, mindless, verbal repetition.

Here's how the Quran starts:

In the name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.
Praise be to Allah, the Cherisher and Sustainer of the worlds;
Most Gracious, Most Merciful;
Master of the Day of Judgment
Thee do we worship, and Thine aid we seek.
Show us the straight way,...

Much of the vocabulary is redundant, etc.

I'm not against praising God. I'm against rote vain false religion. The writer of the Quran apparently expects us to believe it for no good reason. The writers of the Bible do not do that.

The Bible, as soon as you read it, begins to explain rationally the reasons WHY. We have that in Genesis 1:1:

"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth."

We have a what, a who, a when.

To continue a bit more:
1:2 And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.
1:3 And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.
1:4 And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.
1:5 And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.

You see that these verses are beginning to build up a framework of history and how we are rightly to view the world.

Then atheism? In some ways atheism is even more foolish than these false religions because at least the people in the false religions know that there is some eternal meaning to life, some afterlife, in most religions. Atheists don't want to believe in that. That's even more foolish.

When they say "Why not the Quran? Why not the Gita? Why the BIBLE?" etc etc...(first point) but they haven't even read these books themselves, they have NO RIGHT to shoot this at me when they're not willing to read the other books, haven't read the other books, and have no knowledge of the other books, I mean their contents.

(second point): see (second point above)

If he's not willing to do the research himself, but instead throws unfounded accusations at me-- why should I be willing to answer him for it?

I'm more than happy to have a reasonable discussion with you once we both have the knowledge, the preliminary information in our heads. But if you are just going to throw these questions at me when you have no right to do so, I'm not going to answer, right? Because why should I defend myself from you when you haven't done the research yourself and I have? If I know you're not going to listen, why should I argue with you in the first place?

Now on the other hand, I highly disagree with some Christians who might say reading other religious texts such as the Gita or Quran is unhelpful. A brother I highly respect agrees with me that reading other religious texts can actually strengthen my faith in the true God.

We need to not be closed-minded. Both Christians and atheists can be closed-minded and they shouldn't be. People need to honestly interpret the evidence and have rational discussion and come to conclusions truthfully.

A tip: In any debate, let the other talk, keep your silence, stay cool, and don't get angry. The other might be hoping you get angry so you look idiotic and foolish; don't get angry.

Certain Christians might think we just need to read the Bible and believe it blindly. When I had asked an honest question about this I didn't receive straight answers. This part is not good. Partly I think because they themselves aren't sure, and partly because they disapprove through certain indoctrinations, and partly through misunderstandings, and perhaps partly through hypocrisy and/or laziness, and/or mechanical roteness, a lack of desire for dedicated devotion, instead a desire for mechanical repetition because they have other priorities that aren't God, priorities like their own little personal emotional dramas and relationships in their lives, etc... and partly because they don't THINK FOR THEMSELVES. They get brainwashed. This is bad. It happened to me. But the Bible doesn't teach brainwashing.

So you and I don't need to go by something just because someone else goes by something, EVEN if this person is a Christian, even if it is MANY people, MANY Christians who have a common set of beliefs in a church. Challenge this. Do the right thing.

define brainwash:

A method for systematically changing attitudes or altering beliefs, originated in totalitarian countries, especially through the use of torture, drugs, or psychological-stress techniques. any method of controlled systematic indoctrination, especially one based on repetition or confusion:

Meaning they take your MINDS From you, they get you to stop thinking for yourself. It's really bad, one of the worst things someone can do to you. Understand right now that you can control your own mind; you never are forced against your will to let someone take control of your mind. People cannot brainwash you against your will. So I highly recommend keeping your mind AT ALL COSTS.

And people protect their minds, as I said, at either ALL costs or very high costs, even to the point that they act irrationally.

Atheists are right about their passion for understanding the world. Sadly, probably a lot of Christians lack that. That's why a Christian might get trashed in a debate with an atheist because the Christian hasn't done his research and the atheist has. Christians need to do their research and go in prepared.

It's not about feelings. It's about faith and truth and righteousness.

Atheists are right to want to understand the universe. They're wrong in taking it to an extreme and saying there is no God.

Your ip:

There was a little city, and few men within it;
and there came a great king against it, and besieged it,
and built great bulwarks against it:
Now there was found in it a poor wise man,
and he by his wisdom delivered the city;
yet no man remembered that same poor man.

Then said I, Wisdom is better than strength:
nevertheless the poor man's wisdom is despised,
and his words are not heard.

The words of wise men are heard in quiet
more than the cry of him that ruleth among fools.

Wisdom is better than weapons of war:
but one sinner destroyeth much good.

Send me a message.